One day, when I was 5 years old, my mother said, "Let's go get ice cream!"
Ice cream was and still is my favorite so I was like heck YEAH!
got in our van and headed off to the ice cream drive thru... except she actually pulled our van up to the front of the Health Department. I was instantly filled with sheer panic. I won't go into the reasons I was terrified of this place at this time, but let's just say this was my NIGHTMARE. I didn't know what to do so I jumped out and wrapped my arms around the side mirror of our van, trying to anchor onto something, anything. Then they came. 2 adults came out of the building, because this was all planned as I was realizing in this moment.
I started freaking out. Screaming. Crying. I mean FREAKING OUT. They pulled me off the vehicle and began dragging me inside and I'm telling you I was making the biggest scene you can imagine, likely traumatizing every single person in that building. I held nothing back. This was happening to me against my will AND I was betrayed.
Long story short, it took 5 grown-ass adults to hold me down so they could take my blood. They started with only 4 but I was still trying to head butt them so they had to get another to hold my head down. Even then I was wiggling, using every single ounce of my will to thwart them. They had to work to make me submit and it took all the staff in the building just to deal with me. It was uncomfortable for them and I made them sweat. I cursed them through clenched teeth "how DARE you." lolol 5 year old me knew about some drama.
Yesterday I heard from SO MANY PEOPLE who are struggling with a situation of being cornered, trapped, and struggling with an impossible decision. All various situations, same story. So here we are marinating in this.
Today is 11/11. Not surprising, when I tuned in and asked what this year's 11/11 is all about... clear, decisive decision making and cutting away all that is no longer in alignment with your current values and moral code.
The question to ask yourself in all this is do you know, very clearly, what your values and codes are?
The reason 5 year old me freaked the eff out in that situation is because the whole thing was against the code I already understood at that time, that I was equal to every other human and there was no authority outside myself. Had anyone explained to me what they needed and why, like I was an actual person and not an animal, it would've gone much differently. I know, 5 going on 5000.
So that visceral reaction is something I experience to this day, and I know that when I feel it rising within me, there is no question about the choice I must make. This doesn't mean everything works out beautifully and everything is super easy after that. Nope. I've lost literally EVERYTHING, over and over again, yet there's such a sweet soul righteousness that feeds me when I know I stand for something. I stand for MY core values and integrity is the sweetest lullaby. We're not tormented, in other words, when we have our own backs.
Living this way cuts the fat from your life and it can be uncomfortable in that way. It's a risk and a leap of faith.
Today we are still in the pressure cooker of an oppressive situation. We may be feeling more emotional about it, we may be dealing with family and home stuff today. There's an agitated vibe that may make us want to just go back to bed and not deal with it.
We have entered the first quarter phase of this lunation of power. This is where we are facing these tough decisions, we're handling crises, putting out fires, and correcting mistakes we've made. This is the part where we are faced with the first real challenges in our lesson of power balance. Because this phase begins in Aquarius, we need to be thinking outside the box with our FREEDOM in mind and use the wisdom of our soul to find that path forward that honors us in the ways that are most important. For many of us, this involves cutting away the puppet strings and control systems that are simply... well... bs.
Our Beacon card is the Hermit, so in perfect alignment, we are guided to go within and find our soul star. Ask for guidance in that place. Go into the viscera.
Void Moon after 3 PM EST so that's the perfect time to go back under the covers in for want to and are able. The Sun/Neptune trine supports this 100%. There's a choice point coming... Mercury and Mars, who are still squaring Saturn who is laying down the restrictions, are gearing up to oppose Uranus, the ruler of this first quarter phase. It's building. You'll know when the time is right. xx