Ahhhh Mars, firey ruler of Aries and co-ruler of Scorpio. Usually he doesn’t slip by unnoticed. In relationships he wears many hats, some super sexy and some super painful… but always HOT to the touch. When he contacts sensitive points or planets in our composite charts, synastry, or natal charts, issues and emotions can become inflamed.
When Mars transits the axes of your composite chart with another person, he can burn away whatever facades or walls that have been built to avoid or protect us from conflict. This can herald break-ups, separations, heated arguments, hurtful exchanges, and drama. This can be even more intense if the Moon or Pluto are involved.
Sounds awful, right? There is good news though! Mars isn’t the slowest moving guy, not the fastest either. He stays in each sign for approximately 2 months. If he’s retrograde though, it can be up to 7 months. If he’s contacting a sensitive spot chart-wise, this doesn’t mean every moment will be awful. Usually there are triggers that can help us understand why something is coming up in our relationships timing-wise. This effects all relationships, not just romantic.
If we know the potential energy is there or WAS there when trouble started, it empowers us to soften, step back, get some space from the fire, as well as understand why we or our partner is or was feeling so sensitive, aggressive, or defensive.
Mars is not the most mature guy in the world, not gonna lie. He's mostly worried about himself when he's expressing his lower polarity. Like all the archetypal zodiacal energies, he has counterpart energies that help him be his best self. These are the energies of Libra and Taurus.
When we’re experiencing inflammatory Mars and can lean into the partnership, balancing energy of Libra, perhaps we can remember that being in a conscious relationship means that “if I hurt you, I hurt myself.” Similarly, the grounded, solid energy of Taurus can remind us of our values and what we stand for. Perhaps we have behaved outside our value system and we need to acknowledge that and forgive ourselves, or vice versa.
Couples come to me all the time when they are in conflict, trying to understand the dynamics of their relationship. Mars is often involved. When he is, it is sometimes difficult to forgive and forget, but it can be done! Conscious relating is a spiritual journey that requires the best of us at every turn, and our best differs from day to day.
Not every conflict can be resolved and not every relationship can or should be saved. Mars serves us well as he challenges us. He cooks up some spicy dishes that we can either vow to never try again and are wiser for the tasting or we can stock up on milk and tums until we figure it out.
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